My Bitter Sweet Taste Of The Tai Tai Lifestyle

Frequent visitors to this blog would be aware that I'm TUB, and given the impact of my latest entries, you may well have surmised that I'm not really doing all that much. In all reality, I have been going through the motions of readjusting my goals and aims in my career path following my decision to leave my former employer in SH.

Cutting your losses is a tough thing. I found it daunting - it's tough to admit that your choices that have led you towards a path haven't worked out, and perhaps its also harder to realise that any efforts you make to improve your situation would be more effective outside your current work environment. For me, that was the toughest thing to admit to. After this point, moving on was much less emotionally taxing. Or so I thought.

Since returning from an awesome series of China and OS trips, I've fallen into a come-day-go-day routine. For a period, I was seeing myself as the latest addition to Shanghai's expat taitai scene. 'Tai tai' is strictly Chinese for 'wife', and is used as a synonym amongst my friends here for many of the trailing spouses of expatriated workers in Shanghai (which are mostly women in my experience).

Now, this label is often used in a derogatory fashion (I offer evidence in the form of this satirical movie from the LocalBrand website). From my experience, I have been far from leading an entirely vacuous existence, but rather one that has been rarely constructive in its use of time. Furthering my education and Chinese skills have been on top of my list of things to do, but I've so far I've experienced too many negatives ranging from splitting simple tasks from hours into days, and learning more Tagalog from Philippino Satellite TV than Chinese Mandarin. My usual routine has been filled with all manner of little projects (including this site), chores, individual activities, a few lunch-dates, and such. After a number of weeks filling my days, I've grown tired of such a luxurious life. It is quite surprising, as I've always joked that I wanted to be a 'kept man', but this experience has turned me off this concept. I guess you could easily define this experience as a means for invoking demotivation, depression, aimlessness, boredom, and impassivity. I would have to agree wholeheartedly.

So, I've been shaking off my self-imposed shackles by starting to take myself and my time more seriously (more on that later). But my realisation that my 'Taitai Lifestyle' has led me to a greater appreciation of the impact of a relocation on the lives of the trailing spouse expats living in Shanghai.

While Shanghai is considered a hub of the world's business sector, many trailing partner's find it difficult to secure employment in their field of expertise. The troika of competition from bi- or multi-lingual Chinese workers, decreased wage remuneration due to 'local hire' packages, and decreased financial impetus to maintain a set living standard are key reasons that many trailing spouses find themselves out or voluntarily withdrawn from of the global workforce. I know quite a few people in this situation, and while I recognise the impact it can make on a person's self-worth, I hadn't truly appreciated their situation until I had walked a mile in their shoes. For those trailing spouse's without children to care for, I think the transition is much tougher as most probably these partners would have been working back in their home countries and are now forced to readjust to life without an opportunity for a traditional career role.

For now, I'm taking inspiration from those people on how to either manage your Taitai lifestyle so you don't go too crazy, or to break out of it completely. I'm aiming for the latter.